~all the bitching~

「ああ 悲しいねェ・・・ここから 笑いが消えてしまうのは」

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gz2
ztey

Semi-FRIENDS only
Be warned. Most of the time, all I do is speak rubbish. :D
It can't be helped for that's all I'm good at~~

This journal is mostly dedicated as a place for:
  • my awesome bitching
  • my drama
  • my nasty fangirling
  • some other random stuff, repeat...RANDOM

All in all, this is just a compilation of boring stories about things I like and whatnot.
Hope you can bear with me...or not!! :D

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ztey
CDJapan
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what a waste
Nai
ztey
That would be the one sentence every foreign student, who's decided to return to their homeland and work there, hear from people around them.

"What a waste of language skill... You've been studying Japanese for four years and all of your linguistic knowledge would be left for nothing if you leave Japan!" "What's the point of studying in Japan if you'd only end up working in your home country?" and questions of the like.

Man, it sucks when people ask you such questions. Most people try to defend themselves with stuff like, "You don't tell me what to do cause you don't walk in my shoes!" or "This is my life!". Those are legit words of defense, of course, but personally I think people who think that I'd be wasting my Japanese language skill by leaving Japan are... annoyingly narrow-minded.

I don't study English by actually living in an English-speaking country. Japan was my first foreign country and even here in my university, I speak my native language most of the time though the classes are in English and Japanese. In my early years of learning English, I would learn new words and their pronunciations through video games, internet forums, online manga reader sites, books etc.. Never have I spoken to a native English speaker before I came to Japan. My English teachers at school and the language school that I went to for three years were all Indonesians. YET I can say pridefully that my English is well above mediocre.

So for me at least, it doesn't make sense when someone's trying to make another person feel bad for leaving Japan by arrogantly reasoning that the sole action will sever the ties with Japanese language completely-- because it's never true! When there is a will there is a way, and there isn't any better phrase to express how language learning goes than that one.

Living in Japan but not making the fullest of the opportunity to master Japanese IS what you'd call "a waste", as far as living in a foreign country equals higher success rate in mastering the language concerns. Although that still rubs me the wrong way, too. Because living in a foreign country should not, nah, rephrase-- CANNOT, be associated with how well that person can learn the native language. So why would most people stubbornly stick with relating two things that can't be related again?

PLUS, the point of studying in Japan can't be measured based only on what a student will do after graduation. So who are you to say that working in Japan after graduation means that the student has fulfilled the whole point of going to Japan? Heck, to begin with, how can we even be SURE of this POINT we're talking about? "Point of going to Japan" differs from person to person and the way each person sees their "point" might change along the passage of time! How can we guarantee that, say, a few years from now a student who's gone back to his home country after graduation would not emerge as, I don't know-- an important figure between Japan and his home country, maybe, or anything Japan-related??

If someone comes to me and poises words that question my decision to leave Japan in my neck of the woods, I'd be more than happy to share my two cents like this, and be their tango partner.

My 3rd (probably last) Comiket
Nai
ztey
I'm sad.

There's this kind of regretful feeling in me which keeps blaming myself for not liking BL and therefore becoming aware of Comiket sooner. Had I done all of the above much earlier, say, the year I went to Japan for the first time, then this winter Comiket could be my 7th! And even if I had to leave Japan for good I would NOT be feeling this down because hell, I'd have been to Comiket for a good 7 times. But the reality is not like that. That was my last Comiket, maybe.

But then again, going to Tokyo twice a year for 4 years would have been hard to reason for-- in front of my parents. They can't know I'm going there to buy some homoerotic stuff! I think in their eyes I've always been a perfect daughter. And while I believe it's not right of them to expect me to be a perfect person, I know they do.

I can't even begin to imagine how my mom would react if she were to look at all Hidoku Shinaide comic books and doujinshi that I have.

Today I wondered too, if there's ever a point in buying a doujinshi. I might come to get tired of them as time passes by. But then I laughed it off-- it's useless trying to think about it. I'm stupid after all... Anyway I got another doujinshi from Nekota-sensei. I'm so lucky out of 4 new works she released for the last 3 Comikets, THREE of them are about Maya and Nemugasa, my favorite pair she's ever made!

I always only buy her doujinshi... so I'm really feeling contended right now :-) I bought a rough sketchbook from her, too.

Being constantly aware that this might be my last Comiket, I'd wanted to ask for her sign (again). But then I did not. Haha Dunno why...all the courage I had had a year ago didn't come out today; probably because now I know she discourages people from asking for her sign. So last year was just pure luck born from my lacking of such knowledge.

I arrived at Big Sight at 09:40ish but because it was raining the line moved teribbly slow! I did cut the line a few times but still I got to Sensei's booth too late to get a brief-shaped phone screen cleaner bonus!!! S H I T

Ohhhhh Now that I'm reminded of that loss I feel angry again. Damn. Damn myself for not going to Comiket 15-30 minutes sooner!!!!!!!!!! AARGH!! Sigh.

Moving on, K last episode was aired last Friday. I'm now part of Love Scanlation that scanlates Karneval. Sadly, earlier today I saw NO Karneval cosplayer and ONLY Mikoto and Kusanagi cosplayers. Well. There was nothing much to see... I got a few new mangaka names whose works caught my eyes but really, that was it.

I went to Animate Ikebukuro yesterday and each floor there holds an exhibition for specific anime / manga title. The sixth floor is for K. Not bad at all, the exhibition is.

Now I'm going to hunt for some Karneval drama CD. I got a book card unused so I might as well use the little money it has. That's all for now.


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friday
undertaker
ztey
God's one weird being. He picks sinners to be channels of His works.
It would most certainly be of my amusement if I were to know what God is thinking right now -- letting me, someone who is in contact with homoerotic ...I wouldn't say art although it does include art; related objects, translate sermon script for Sunday service to English!

This is my second translation... I raised my hand for this voluntary job and to my surprise it was only a week later when I was given a chance to do my first translation. Maybe God wants me to reflect, but, no... I've fallen in too deep. My hands might be filthy but I honestly hope they can give birth to a clean pot with humble design. For that sake, I've decided to postpone watching K episode 10.

Oh yeah. K is an original anime I'm currently into. Many beautiful bastards, bromance hints and the likes... Really, something for me.

I watched a Japanese anime movie, titled Fuse, last Saturday. It's a lovely movie, I love Miyano Mamoru's voice. And the character he lends his voice for; a total hottie...good Uke material-- THE HELL AM I SAYING?!

Sigh. If Heaven and Hell do exist, I'm pretty much sure where I'll wind up in the afterlife; yeah, the latter one. I mean, look at me! I indulge in worldly pleasure, that ONE worldly pleasure I'm in a odi et amo relationship with, all the fucking time.
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